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I Just Can't Live A Lie
Note: This is how I personally think Power of Three should've gone. If things had happened this way, it would've been just as interesting, roughly same plot, my respect for Squirrelflight would still be here, and Leafpool.....well, I'd still hate her. XD Enjoy! I Just Can't Live a Lie is by Carrie Underwood. I Just Can't Live a Lie Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you. Leafpool glared at me. "Take them!" she hissed. I glared at her, feeling both sad and furious. "No! You decided to do this Leafpool. I'll stand by you but...." I shook my head. "I'm not going to live a lie!" She stared at me and for a horrible moment I thought she was going to claw me. My own sister. But she merely sighed and her shoulders droooped. "I knew you would say that." I stared at her. Even if I agreed to take them I knew she would ask something else. I could never do anything completely right. And maybe turning my back would be that much easier. I longed to help Leafpool, I did! But at the same time all I wanted was to run, keep running and never ever look at her again. It seemed like with all she wanted me to do that would be easy. It wasn't. Cuz hurtful words are all that we exchange. "I really want to-" I began, trying to make my green eyes pleading. "No! You're right, I should ask my own sister to help me!" she growled, her amber ones angry and hurt. She picked up the three mewling kits, having some trouble carrying them all and started to walk away. But I can't let you walk away. "Leafpool!" I yowl at her. She turns and glares at me and suddenly I remember how much Crowfeather leaving hurt her, howmuch these kits would cost her. Exactly what her life would become. I figured she was going to take them and run away somewhere. I couldn't let that happen. "Don't leave." I say panting a little. She glares at me and gives a muffled "Fine!" and stalks back to camp. I almost feel happy but I'm not sure what will be left of our relationship. Can I forget about the way it feel to touch you? I woke up the next morning. I had been chased by nightmares last night, all I wanted to do was curl up with my sister. But Leafpool slept in the medicine den across the clearing. And I wasn't even sure if we were still on speaking terms. I sighed, wondering if I would ever have my sister back again. Why couldn't she just understand me for once? All about the good times that we been through. I padded to her den. Warriors in the clearing were already muttering darkly and giving me looks. I had no idea what Leafpool told them but they knew about the kits most definatly. I got the feeling I could forget about all my friends in the Clan. Brambleclaw ran toward me, amber eyes wide. "Where are our-" I shoved past him, holding back tears. This was such a nightmare. I had to talk to Leafpoool. Could I wake up without you everyday? I burst into the medicine den where my sister was frantically trying to soothe her three kits as well as prepare some herbs. "Leafpool!" she glared at me and I felt a rush of emotion. But I swallowed and tried to sound normal. "What're you doing?" "Getting out of here." she mewed curtly. The herbs she was mixing, I now saw with horror, were traveling herbs. I couln't loose my sister completely. She may not like me anymore or want to tlak to me but she couldn't leave. "Leafpool, stay..." she gave me a look so furious that I actually felt frightened. "..for a little while at least! I have to talk to you." And would I let you walk away? I sighed, "Have you told anyone about the kits?" She shook her head. "Nope. I was going to leave before someone" she glared at me "spilled the beans. Or someone else found out. Once I left, I couldn't care less what happened." I stared at her, feeling sick, knowing what I had to do, "Leafpool, let me take the kits. Please. I pretended to have them after all, I just didn't want to lie to our Clanmates in the end. But I'll do it now." she stared at me, amber eyes wide and extremely grateful. "Thank you so much!" she told me as she gave them too me. Act as if you just had a check up." I nodded and picked the kits up, taking them to the nursery. No I can't learn to live without... I sighed. I had never wanted kits as a kit, apprentice, or warrior. But apparently I had them now. I had no clue what to do. Should I tell them stories? Feed them? Leave them alone? I sighed. I just saved Leafpool and now I had put myself in a bad position. But it was better to have Leafpool here then gone, right? Surely this was all worth it? I thought so. But I had no clue what to do, not just about the kits. But about telling cats. Brambleclaw, Firestar, Sandstorm, Ashfur...the names blurred in my head and I wondered. Could I really live my life a lie? And I can't give up on us now! I shook my head, praying that no one would come in. I couldn't lie but I couldn' tell the truth eather. Everything would be over, me and Brambleclaw, me and Leafpool.... Oh I know I could say we're through. And tell myself I'm over you! You can still give them back....said a voice in the back of my head. I growled and one of the kits whimpered. I would take care of these kits. I had too. Then Brambleclaw burst through the nursery enterence with shinging eyes. "Are these...ours?" he asked, his eyes on Leafpool's kittens. But even if I made a vow. I promise not to miss you now! "Yes." I said shakily, making my desicion. I had to protect my sister. But Brambleclaw...surely I could tell him? "I mean...no." I whispered. His head jerked up from peering at one of the kits. "They're Leafpool's. And C-Crow...." I couldn't finish. Brambleclaw just stared at me. I hurried on, determined that he would agree with me that I had done the right thing, "I had to take them! Leafpool would've left! And I'll keep the secret, I just had to tell you...and Firestar and Sandstorm..." Oh StarClan I wanted everyone to know. Wasn't there a way to let everyone know? Without betraying my sister? I sigh. And try to hide the truth inside! I fell 'cuz I, I just can't live a lie! Brambleclaw said nothing and for a moment I wondered if I had just ruined everything. Then he whispered, "Thank-Thank you for telling me. But what are we supposed to do?" I surpressed a purr. I liked the way he said 'we'. "I want everyone to know, I mean, I don't want to live my life a lie." I rushed out. He nodded and we sat and talked for a long time. Could I forget about the look that tells me that you want me? Hollyleaf glared at me. It was moons later, seasons even. I stared at her feeling helpelss. Was this truely the little black kit who had whimpered when I growled? I couldn't believe it. "You liar!" she hissed. I tried to remian calm but her words had stung me. I was a liar. I had loved Leafpool too much to tell anyone but my mate and our parents her secret. But now I had been forced to reveal the secret to the very cats it would hurt most, her kits. All the reasons that make loving you so easy. Oh StarClan, her claws are unsheathed, I noticed with a shudder. How on StarClans green forest had I ever thought I could pull this off? The kiss that always makes it hard to breath. I remembered when she, when all of them were little. Licking me good bye as they went out of the nursery the first time, their first punishment. A flash of pain went through me. Hollyleaf growled at me again. She seemed most in pain because of the last secret I had. The kits didn't know their real mother or father. But Brambleclaw and I were paying for it. Lionblaze and HJayfeather treated us with a cold shoulder but Hollyleaf went out of her way to put us, particulary me, in misery. The way you know just what I mean. She stalked off and I ran to camp, to Brambleclaw. "I want to tell them. Tonight." I said breathlessly. He raised his eyes, "At the Gathering? You sure?" I nod, "Ashfur's planning to anyways. We'll just beat him to it." Brambleclaw licked my ear and stared deep into my eyes. "You sure you want too? You could be in big trouble." I nodded, "All the Clans need to know. And I need to come clean, I can't do this anymore. No I can't learn to live without... So don't give up on us now!! I had reliazed I couldn't live without Leafpool or Brambleclaw, or the kits. And no matter how hard it was for me, for all the Clans, I couldn't give up on them, on us. Oh I know I could say we're through! And tell myself I'm over you. As the night drew closer, I thought hard. You could just let therm go, I thought. They're warriors now, they don't need you or anyone anymore. Just cut them loose, they're not kits anymore, they don't need you to look out for them. But even if I made a vow, I promise not to miss you now! I shook my head. I loved thme like a mother would. I would take care of them forever, whether they liked it or not. I sighed and got up as Firestar announced it time to go to the Gathering. And try to hide the truth inside. And I fell cuz I, I just can't live a lie! Brambleclaw padded next to me, "No matter what happens tonight, I'll always love you." he mewed softly. I purred."By the time the moon rises high in the sky, all the secrets will be out." I murmers back. Oh. I don't wanna try..... Ohhhhh.... We were crossing the Tree BRidge. I whimpered. Was I really going to do this? Oh I know I could say we're through. And tell myself I'm over you! Yes. I told myself firmly. Yes I was. We were on the island now. Before I could loose my nerve, I hopped up on the Great Rock. Brambleclaw quickly darted up beside me. But even iof I made a vow. I promise not to miss you now! I looked at all the cats who were gathering underneath us, murmering in confusion. I was about to loose every single one of them. All of them so that the truth would be told. Leafpool was dead now, she ate deathberries. I glanced at Hollyleaf. Or someone forced her too. But this couldn't hurt her now. It could only hurt me. I already planned to say nothing about Brambleclaw knowing the truth. I took a breath. And try to hide the truth inside. I fell cuz I, I just can't live a lie! I told it. All of the truth. Brambleclaw pressed against me but I could tell he was angry I never mentioned him knowing. I'm sorry. I told him in my mind. Let me protect you, my last act of decency. The Clan cats below me howled and yowled in anger and confusion on shock. I let out a slow breath, they are all yowling at me. Brambleclaw is safe. But there's no hope for me now. Oh I can;t live a lie... I looked at Crowfeather. He was looking at the stars, ignoring Nightcloud and Breezepelt completely. I think he's trying to tell Leafpool he's sorry, maybe seek condolence from Feathertail. I look to Brambleclaw. His face is a mask of rage. But I can tell underneath he's proud of me, but scared as well. Scared of what the conseqeunce would be. Then, I slowly turn to the kits. Lionblaze is holding his head high, glaring at all the cats who shoot him nasty glances. I almost purr. So much like his father...that is if he was really our kit. Jayfeather can't see the looks cats give him, but he can tell what they're thinking. He's looking up at the stars with sightless blue eyes. Hollyleaf is the worse. She's letting cats stare at her and she's glaring at me. Her green eyes are pools of fury but I see something in there...is is sorrow? Remorse? I can't say. I mouth at her. Forgive me. Ever so slightly she nods. I look at all the other cats. They hate me now. I don't care. I have Brambleclaw. Leafpool will always watch over me. And Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze, StarClan willing, will have forgiven me. And finally, finally, I can live my life right. Oh I can't live a lie... Category:Songfic Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics